Time is ticking by. It's been almost a year since that first coffee date in the Woods with Bellingham. A YEAR!! Wow.

I stopped writing this blog because it didn't seem fair to continue exposing my dating secrets while trying to build a relationship. Also, I figured that secretly writing about him would be creepy. So I stopped. I eventually told him about my blog but only just recently got the courage up to read it to him. Credit to him for even being willing to listen, which speaks volumes about his confidence in the strength of our relationship. He had only good things to say, laughed at the appropriate times and encouraged me to keep writing (about him). "Carte Blanche" were his exact words actually. I think he understands the flavour of my writing and feels comfortable enough that I won't divulge anything inappropriate so...Giddy Up!!

Relationships are a progression and one of the important steps for us was him meeting my boys. Imagine being him, willingly getting involved with two kids under 12, when his own daughter is starting an independent life away from home. I still marvel at the thought that he actually wants to hang out with us, but yes, there are actually good family oriented men out there who are up for the challenge.

The first introduction was a big deal. (Well for me anyway, the boys just wanted to meet him and get on with it). We went to Bob's Burger for dinner and cozied into a booth. I was the only one who didn't order a big ice cream float (I think I had a "nerve calming" beer). About 3 sips in, with a big flourish, Bellingham proceeded to knock his big, sticky, creamy float off the table. It pretty much exploded onto the empty booth across from us and the not so empty booths beside it. Huge mess. Awkward. He was embarrassed. I don't think the boys laughed right away, until he did. They seemed charmed and expressed their sympathy and pity over his monumental loss.


They say that people who are clumsy and do embarrassing things occasionally are actually more popular. Apparently it endears them to their audience and makes them appear more "human". In this particular circumstance I would say the theory holds true. The ice cream float spill was not only a memorable event, Bellingham couldn't have orchestrated it any better if he had tried. The boys liked him right away and I think the feeling was mutual. We ended up staying the entire weekend.

One of the things I suggested in the last post was that having kids should not be an obstacle to searching for a new relationship. While it can be a bit tricky to navigate, I think that kids can benefit from having other adults in their lives. A new relationship can give kids a chance to see (in this case) Mum in a happy relationship.

Obviously, you don't want to be introducing a new "uncle" every week or exposing them to the early stage of dating. To me, that goes without saying, I think we are all better parents than that!

Mine knew that I was dating. My oldest (11) approached me one night and we had the following conversation:

Him: "Mum, I've seen things...on the computer" (look of horror)

Me: "umm, like what kind of things?" (Oh please God let it not be porn or dead people)

Him: "dating websites"

Me: (relieved but agreeing about the horror aspect) "I'm not currently signed up on any dating websites. They just send me emails all the time inviting me to join" (that was true at the time) What is your concern?

Him: "That you have secrets"

Me: "Do you want me to tell you if I'm back online so there are no surprises?"

Him: "yes, please"

So I did. Having said that, it was a brief conversation with him that I had gone back online. All my contacts and dates happened quietly without either of them really being aware. After I met Bellingham and knew things were progressing, I told them I had a new "friend". Slowly I give them a bit more info about him so they can get used to the idea that I'm spending my adult time with him.

Obviously you have to be careful at what stage the introductions are made and that depends on so many factors. The age of the kids, their acceptance of the fact that Mum and Dad are finished and their comfort level with meeting someone new. Mine have met one previous boyfriend and are comfortable with Dad's girlfriend so I'm in a pretty good position.

I had an interesting conversation with them last year (they were 7 and 10 at the time) about what qualities they thought would make a good boyfriend for me. Their answers were thoughtful, funny and at times a little self serving. Totally understandable and, well, brilliant if I do say so myself. I would expect no less!

Here they are.

Mums Boyfriend

-not armed (no weapons). This was later adjusted to "safe storage if he owns guns"

-should have a dog

-should treat Mum nicely

-good manners

-free pub access (?!) this was followed by my youngest saying to my oldest "wow it's not all about the beer!"

-about Mum's age

-not an archaeologist who does curses. "An archaeologist who doesn't do curses would be cool"

-likes to come over

-no arm and belly scratching at the same time

-ultimate hide and seek master

-good hygiene/no braces

-likes to play hockey

-big biceps

-likes to play with the boys

-plays guitar

-doesn't put bombs in beds

-goes home by midnight

-doesn't sleep on spikes

-respects Mum

-respects us

-not the town drunk and doesn't have drunk kids

-makes Mum laugh

-respects nature

-non-smoker

-should have kids. (Girls might be ok if they're cute or like the same stuff)

I think that's a pretty good wish list!

I'm at the stage in my relationship with Bellingham where we are starting to consider when he should meet my boys. Because of their ages, I want to be cautious and it might have to wait another month or so. I had the opportunity to meet his daughter yesterday (she's 18) and we went out for sushi with her and her boyfriend. Pretty cool to double date with your new boyfriend's daughter and it went well. Seeing your partner as a parent adds another dimension to the relationship and I can tell he's a great Dad.

My boys know about him and are very curious. They want to meet him (and his pets).I will continue to answer their questions and wait for the right opportunity. Belligham told me that the fact that I have kids is attractive to him and I think he would be a great addition to their lives. He wants to see me as a parent and has said he thinks I'm doing a great job. I think with the exception of the guitar playing he has it in the bag.

Things are going so well with Bellingham that I have taken my photos off my Match profile and deleted the mobile site off my phone. I haven't deleted my account yet, but only because I might need some "material" for the blog and still want access.
Simply put, he's amazing. The more time I spend with him the more I can see that he is exactly the man I was hoping I would find. Four years in the dating trenches have paid off! We are a month in now and it's only getting better. I hope it continues.
For those of you just embarking on your online search or feeling frustrated by the lack of good quality men out there, I say this. They do exist.
Be open. The package you are hoping to find may not look exactly how you expect it to.
If you keep meeting losers, refine your search parameters, trust your gut and don't make excuses for them. At our age, if a man doesn't have his shit together he shouldn't be looking online for a life partner. What he should be doing is getting his shit together, period.
Relax and have fun with your search, not all men online are creeps or serial killers! While some of the men I met were a bit quirky and not a match, for the most part they were respectful and I didn't feel unsafe. Remember too that happy people attract happy people. Crabby negative people scare off happy people. Post happy pictures and be positive in your communication. Most importantly, don't give up. Never give up!!

After writing the first part of this blog entry, I stumbled across an article on Match.com which suggested 8 things I thought were pretty consistent with the advice I give (and just gave) to new daters based on my own experiences. Here is their advice: (my comments in parenthesis)

1. Know that it's ok to be nervous but do it anyway! (I think Bellingham did just that and it paid off for him!)
2. Look at any setbacks you've encountered along the way as growth opportunities. (Or just laugh and move on)
3. Don't let your children become an excuse for you not to date. (Sorry kids but Mum needs some sexy time...see ya!)
4. Nix the negativity. (See! That's what I just said, be happy and positive!!)
5. Consider changing what kind of qualities you're looking for in a mate. (This is my "be open" speech)
6. Remember that you have to crack a lot of eggs to make the perfect omelet. (Ooh boy did I ever have to crack a lot of eggs. Some were already cracked!)
7. Decide on your own pace for dating and what you want to get out of it. (I was juggling a few potential matches for awhile but that's not for everybody!)
8. Keep your eye on the prize!

Whether your 23, 43 or 63 (you know who you are) there is someone out there for you. If Martha Stewart can go on Match.com at 71 and if Bellingham's Mum can get remarried at 70, there is hope for all of us!!!

Happy dating!

It really wouldn't be fair to write about the best date ever without talking about my worst date ever. It was bad but I suppose it could have been much worse. Some of you may be able to beat this, but here is my story. Early on when I was new to the online dating experience, I made many rookie mistakes. By sharing a few of them with you now, perhaps you can avoid the same ones. This date was about 3 years ago so while of some of the details have been lost in the memory abyss some are still quite fresh.
The first clue to impending disaster with this date was that he had the same name as my ex-husband. Now you may ask, "what's in a name?". I'll tell you what: A bad coincidence and a sure sign to start running quickly in the other direction.
The second clue was a list of probably about 30 questions he asked me to answer via email, ranging from "What was my favourite colour" and "What was my favourite animal" to "What was my favourite country music band". It occurred to me at the time that it seemed a bit highschool, but perhaps this is what people did online? Perhaps NOT.
He lived in Tacoma and was willing to make the drive up to meet me. At the time this seemed sweet, in retrospect it was a good indication he had burned through other opportunities closer to home!
He came up one night and picked me up for dinner. Looking back, I still don't understand why I thought this was a good idea. Firstly, picking me up? Secondly, dinner? Then in my wisdom, I decided to go to a restaurant in Whiterock that I often frequented. WHERE EVERYONE KNEW ME! What was I thinking!?!!! Witnesses?
My first impression of him was that he was ok looking but he talked like an African American valley girl. Hard to imagine, I know.
We arrived at the restaurant and were seated at a lovely patio table overlooking the water, lined with beautiful spring planter boxes. WHICH HE PROMPTLY RESTED HIS ELBOW IN. Who does that? He seemed completely oblivious to the geraniums dying under the weight of his right arm, where it remained for as long as it took to order our meal. Conversation was, well, not really conversational because he spent the next three hours talking about himself. A simple question such as "So, you have a dog?" resulted in a 30 minute round about explanation of his own awesomeness ending with how he had a dog but it actually belonged to his roommate.
At one point, some friends, without me knowing, did a drive by of the restaurant to see how things were going. They reported later that my body language indicated to them that he quite possibly had the beubonic plague and that there would definitely not be a second date. If only I'd known, I would have launched across the patio planters and in through the sliding door of their mini van and never looked back.
The meal went on...and on. Our server KC and Ty, the restaurant owner, got trapped in conversations with him too. Apparently he wasn't able to pick up on the social cues that sent the message: "shut the F up".
I finished my dinner in about .5 seconds but because he was talking so much he took hours. It was painful. No dinner is worth that, no matter how good. Please let this night be over!
Then he drove me home. I was worried he would try and kiss me. He didn't seem to be noticing that I wanted to gnaw my own arm off to get out of the date. The conversation on the way home went something like this:

Bad date : "So, ya, I would totally like to see you again"
Me: "I don't really want to go out with you again"
Bad date : "What? But I think you are, like, totally awesome"
Me: "How would you know that? You've spent the last three hours talking about yourself!"
Bad date : (stunned look)
Me: "You didn't ask me anything about myself, my family, my job. Even worse, you talked AT me the entire time. You don't know me any better now than you did when you picked me up 3 hours ago!"
Bad date: (short embarrassed apology followed by long winded speech about himself and his own awesomeness)
Me: "Thanks for dinner" (car door slams)(OMG did I say all that out loud?)
PHEW!
Thank God that's over!!

Rookie mistakes abound, lets review:

1. Never engage in dumb questionnaire type emails prior to date, in fact, don't even respond at all.

2. Be wary of over enthusiastic daters who are willing to drive 2.5 hours to meet you. (Desperate?)

3. I can't say this often enough. DO NOT COMMIT TO DINNER on a first date. Quick coffee dates are best!

4. Do not take blind dates to your favourite restaurant without warning staff and arranging for them to stage an emergency phone call or show you the path to the rear exit door.

5. Do not get in his car. That's just dumb (and risky).

6. Do not date men with the same name as your ex.

7. Always tell friends where you are going, particularly ones with a mini van BUT pre-arrange a military calibre extraction plan.

I did not hear from him again. I did however, speak to the restaurant staff who very graciously told me they knew it was a bad blind date and suggested that next time I give them an SOS. They promptly renamed the patio table to the name of my bad date and promised never to sit me there again.

I was lucky. It was a bad date, but made for an entertaining story. It could have been worse. He was not, like, totally awesome, but I was like, totally safe back in my crib.

Bellingham and I had arranged to get together Tuesday night for dinner. Having already decided we wouldn't eat at his place, he promised me something special. That later became a major understatement.
I went to work Tuesday and he sent me a message saying I'd better bring my overnight bag because he'd booked me a room at the Chrysalis Inn and Spa on the waterfront in Bellingham. He suggested that I check in around 4 then relax and unwind before dinner. He also told me to book myself a spa treatment and enjoy the mini-vacation as his treat. HOLY SHIT!
He also arranged for some wine, fruit and cheese for the room and very thoughtfully took care of everything. I was, well, completely blown away!
We went to a beautiful restaurant on the waterfront for dinner. When we walked in, Etta James singing "At Last" in the background. Really?! Was this staged?!?The food was delicious, there was a beautiful sunset and his company was perfect. I felt like the luckiest woman in the world to be having such an amazing experience with such a wonderful guy.

After a fantastic 75 minute facial at the spa and the promise of another date, I left Bellingham and drove home. Truthfully, I think I could have floated home but instead I drove my truck. (Filled with cheap US gas I might add). Suffice it to say, I will be taking a break from Match.com while I explore things with Bellingham. Smart girls know when a fantastic guy is standing in front of them!
Hopefully I won't be challenging the Match.com money back guarantee!
I'm going to keep blogging though, seems like I'm never short of material and I have more stories yet to tell!

That was my view from the window of my room.

That was my view from the window of my room.

Best.Date.Ever.

Since I started dating over four years ago now, I have actively practiced the following dating rule: Never miss an opportunity. This is the moment (and we've all had them) as you go about your daily life, when you meet somebody who you think might have some dating potential. You would like the chance to get to know them further and you have a decision to make, "Do I walk away and regret not saying something" or "Do I take the risk of falling on my face and make a move." It's a gamble that can either end well, really badly or just reveal a dead end. I say: Go for it!! Better to look foolish than live with regret. Here are a couple of my personal examples:

1. While at the water slides last summer with my girlfriend and our kids, we got talking to a guy from Linden, WA who was also there with his kids. Through talking to him I learned that he had lost his wife the previous year. He seemed friendly and interested enough. When it was time to leave I went up and gave him a peice of paper with a note and my phone number on it. Just a simple statement: Here's my number if you'd like to get together again with the kids or otherwise.
It was less about him actually calling and more about not walking away wishing I had done something. By the way: he never called.

2. While at the Cloverdale Rodeo two summers ago with my kids, I kept crossing paths with a tall man in a plaid shirt. Even in a crowd, I couldn't help but notice we were singling each other out. It turned out he was the owner of the Lumberjack Show and called me up on stage to participate in a sawing contest. I doubt it was a coincidence that he and I won the contest and he made me a chair. I asked my son for a picture of the two of us and got his email address so I could send him a copy. This resulted in more emails and a dinner date, as well as an ax throwing lesson. (He's a lumberjack remember!) He went on the road with his lumberjack show for the summer and we lost touch but it was a good experience none the less. And, I still have the chair!

The other example recently of someone else practicing this dating rule comes in the form of a half naked buff bodied runner my partner and I dubbed the "sweaty wing-man".
We were parked at Kits Point one day last week enjoying the sunshine and a slow day with fewer calls than usually. As we were parked there talking about life, love and dating, my eye was drawn to a guy running past with no shirt and a body which would make you say "I love summer!" Which, in fact, is exactly what I said. A few minutes later, I saw the guy running back in the opposite direction and headed directly toward our patrol car.
Me: "I think that sweaty guy is coming to talk to us"
Partner: "Oh no! Start the car!
Me: "No way"
So he comes up to my partner's window and starts talking to us. Some random questions about our job and living in the City. I admit I was curious about what his objective was but he was funny and friendly so we sat there and talked to him. As it turned out, he's a helicopter pilot from the Canadian Military, born and raised in Vancouver, living on Vancouver Island. As he stood there dripping in sweat (down wind thankfully) he talked about the long path to earning his "wings", (hence the nickname "sweaty wing-man"). When he talked about his military life I commented: "That must be a little challenging on family life". Then the flood gates opened.
He was 36 and single. He'd tried online dating without success and was frustrated by the women in Vancouver. From his perspective, women weren't very friendly or open to just chatting. He'd recently gone to the pub at SFU and when he'd bought a girl a drink, just wanting to be friendly, she said "don't think you're gonna get laid".
He seemed frustrated by the dating scene. Being in the military is hard and trying to make online connections is even harder when you're on a Navy Ship floating off the coast of who knows where.
Then he angled for my phone number, which I thought was funny...perhaps this had been his objective from the start. I told him I was a bad option for him because I was done with having kids and was happily 3 dates in with a new man in Bellingham. Then he jokingly offered my partner $20 to derail the 4th date.
We promised to try and find a date, so this is what we came up with as far as his match:
25-32 year old female, any ethnicity, fit and family oriented. Must want kids. A career conducive to relocation preferred such as massage therapy, physio or nurse. Healthy eater, no addictions.
If you know anyone, let me know!!
I commented to him before he left "dating is hard, it's takes work, not unlike finding a job". His response "how hard did you have to work...all you had to do was sit there in your car and I showed up"!!

The other example recently of someone else practicing this dating rule comes in the form of a half naked buff bodied runner my partner and I dubbed "The sweaty wing-man".
We were parked at Kits Point one day last week enjoying the sunshine and a slow day with fewer calls than usual. As we were parked there talking about life, love and dating, my eyes were drawn to a guy running by in front of us. He had no shirt on and had a body which would make you say "I love summer!" Which, in fact, is exactly what I said. A few minutes later, I saw the guy running back in the opposite direction and headed directly toward our patrol car.
Me: "I think that sweaty guy is coming to talk to us"
Partner: "Oh no! Start the car!
Me: "No way"
So he comes up to my partner's window and starts talking to us. Some random questions about our job and living in the City. I admit I was curious about his objective but he was funny and friendly so we sat there and talked to him. As it turned out, he's a Captain with the Canadian Military, flying Sea King helicopters. He was born and raised in Vancouver, currently living on Vancouver Island. As he stood there dripping in sweat (down wind thankfully) he talked about the long path to earning his "wings" (hence the nickname "sweaty wing-man") and how he had moved around a lot but loved Vancouver. When he talked about his military life I commented: "That must be a little challenging on family life". Then the conversation took a turn.
He was 36 and single. He'd tried online dating without success and was frustrated by the women in Vancouver. From his perspective, women weren't very friendly or open to just chatting. He'd recently gone to the pub at SFU and when he'd bought a girl a drink, just wanting to be friendly, she said "don't think you're gonna get laid". Being in the military is hard and trying to make online connections is even harder when you're on a Navy Ship floating off the coast of who knows where.

Then he angled for my phone number, which I thought was funny...perhaps this had been his objective from the start. I told him I was a bad option for him because I was done with having kids and was happily 3 dates in with a new man in Bellingham. Then he jokingly offered my partner $20 to derail the 4th date.

We promised to try and find a date of his own. Later, my partner and I established a profile we thought would be good for his perfect match:
25-32 year old female, any ethnicity. Fit and family oriented. Must enjoy outdoor activities, running/track & field would be a bonus. Must want kids. Should have a career conducive to relocation such as massage therapy, physio or nurse. Healthy eater, no addictions.
(If you know anyone, let me know!!)

I commented to him before he left: "dating is hard, it's takes work, not unlike finding a job". His response "how hard did you have to work...all you had to do was sit there in your car and I showed up"!!


A few days later we got this email from him:

Hi Guys,

Just thought I'd say hi and touch base with you. I'm in Halifax now for the week doing piloty stuff. I really enjoyed our conversation yesterday and wanted to thank you both for being 'cool' and super-funny. I meet a lot of people through work, my travels, and all that....but I can't say that I always get along with, share so many similar views, or otherwise 'connect' with people I meet...so that was an unexpected pleasure with you two.
All the best, and keep in touch...
PS - (insert my partner's name here), you found that $20 I left for you for that "Op" you're doing for me, right?


Go forth and take risks, be open to looking stupid and keep in mind that it's all about networking. Sweaty Wing-man isn't going to get a date with me but I'm keeping my eye out for his perfect match!

Interestingly, I have had some text messages from Denver since our date but not in the last few days. I'm not sure whether he was easing out gently and is gone or if he was waiting for me to ask him out, which I didn't do. He didn't set up another date and it's almost been a week. I think he's within my comfort zone as far as men I date, but that hasn't necessarily worked out well for me in the past. I think it's just as well I am not pursuing him as an option.
I'm seeing Bellingham again Tuesday night. I successfully side-stepped the dinner at his house offer even though he said he wanted to show off his cooking not his body! I love that he asked but I laughed too...I told you that would happen, didn't I!!
I told him that since we had agreed to move slowly, I didn't think me drinking wine in his kitchen was a good idea.
He told me he was prepared to wait years for sex wiith the right woman, to which I replied "YEARS??!!!! Are you nuts!??!!"
I have resolve but that's a bit extreme! He says he's a good planner and will plan something special for me Tuesday night instead. I feel lucky.

I have heard a few things lately about dating I wanted to share, things to consider for those of us actively dating.
Patti Stanger says that fireworks are for fairy tales and that love is a slow burn. I think at my age (44), compatibility and chemistry are a delicate balance. Both are equally important. I found myself initially attracted to Bellingham but not in an electric jolt kind of way. The more time we spend together and get to know each other, the more attracted to him I am. The compatibility is there and it feels balanced. The other thing to add to the equation is that I think there are many facets to compatibility. Personality, life circumstances and interests are but a few of the areas that need to line up. Compatibility of circumstance has probably been the biggest challenge for me, because I have kids but am looking for someone who is at least at the same stage as me or has older kids.
A blog I follow by a Vancouver writer @UrbanCowgirl suggests that perhaps women set unrealistic standards and are missing the good guys.
"We women can be nasty bitches, can’t we? I definitely don’t endorse settling or dating someone just to maintain a regular plus one. I believe in love and holding out for what’s right for you. But some of our standards have become so rigid and seemingly non-negotiable, it’s a wonder anyone is shacking up or getting married anymore."
She suggests being more open on things like height, distance to his neighbourhood, what he wears, how much he earns and even his name. Being open to possibilities can sometimes work out well. Now if only I could get them to move the Canada/U.S. border south of Bellingham!
Happy dating ladies...remember...be open and have fun.

I needed gas in Blaine. Oh that's such an excuse. Well, actually, I did, but I thought I might sneak a coffee date in with Bellingham before he left for his trip to Santa Barbara. I'm totally jealous...I'd love to be going to a home-brew festival in Santa Barbara right about now!
He said he had a busy work day but could re-arrange things and meet me for a quick coffee in Birch Bay. When he got there, he said he'd cleared his schedule til noon! That was a really good sign because it showed he was flexible and wanted to spend time with me. That made me feel good!
We had a coffee, then took a drive and a walk to the beach, where he didn't waste much time making up for the awkward kiss on the last date. He's very tall, I didn't have heels on and had to actually stand on my tip toes to kiss him!
It can be a slow process, getting to know someone. This part only happens once in a relationship and you can't go back once the relationship moves to the next level. I think it's important to savour all the new stuff. We are slowly revealing who we are and what we want, so far it feels good.
He admitted he'd been thinking a lot about me and feels a little smitten. How cute is that!?!
I'll see him next week when he gets back...one date at a time!

As promised I set up my sushi date with Denver, who had been away in Vegas and had kept in touch. To be honest, after my great date with Bellingham, I wasn't feeling particularly optimistic about the date, thinking we would have a decent time and that would be that.
He was also on time and had dressed for the date. We went to a casual sushi place in Coquitlam that I had picked, half way for both of us and on my way home from work. I'd heard good things.
He was actually cuter than I remembered. When we had gone for a walk, I'd missed the smiles and the sparkle in his eye when he laughed. He was also good company and had an easy going personality. He had a way of making conversation instead of asking questions and I found myself really enjoying the date. He paid the bill and asked if I wanted to walk across to the Starbucks for a coffee after, which we did, and he wouldn't even let me pay for coffee although I tried.
This time he asked about my job and we talked about my boys although I still don't think he knows how old they are.
Although I remember what my dates tell me, I must admit, I'm finding it a little hard to keep track of who I've told what!
Although the connection is maybe not as strong as with Bellingham, Denver was a nice surprise. He didn't kiss me at the end of the evening, because I don't think that's his style. He sent me a message after I left and I wonder now how this is all going to play out.
If nothing else it does prove that there are decent guys online and with a bit of effort they can be found!
On the way home, I actually laughed out loud at the irony. From no dates six weeks ago to two good options! Who would have thought.

One date at a time and we'll just see how it plays out. It's possible that I'm not the only person on their short lists either and at this point, it's anyone's guess how this will turn out. I feel remarkably relaxed about it!

I'd love to hear your feedback! Make a comment, ask a question or vote for your favourite by posting a comment on this blog. You can also send me an email via the link on my website:
missmatchedadventures.com

Second dates. This is when things start to get interesting. A chance to see if first impressions are indeed accurate and the opportunity to test the waters a bit.
Bellingham offered to come up North and take me for dinner. He isn't familiar with this neck of the woods so I picked the restaurant. I initially thought Whiterock beach for dinner would be nice but second guessed myself, thinking that choice might be a touch romantic for a second date. I picked the Roadhouse Grille in Whiterock because it's a relaxed and funky place and they have live music. This prompted a debate between us about whether Roadhouse was in fact Patrick Swayze's best movie and the thought that perhaps the evening could end up with a biker brawl or a cheesy 80's dance off. Who needs romantic beach dates anyway!
He was on time, had clearly put effort into what he was wearing and was great company. He has a sense of humour that works well with mine and he can certainly take it as well as dish it out.
He confessed to having gone out on another Match date after he had met me for coffee and I actually thought that was a good thing. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket at this stage and I don't expect him to either! He said he was feeling pretty cocky after his date with me and made a rookie mistake. He took the girl for dinner. She had a lisp and was about 50lbs heavier than her pictures. He learned from that experience that talking on the phone first is a good idea! All he was left with was the bill for a steak dinner and a funny dating story!
After dinner we went down to the beach for a walk on the pier and a drink at the Irish pub. More live music and a well oiled crowd rounded out the evening nicely and included some good Canadian maritime cheer. He confessed later that he had wanted to hold my hand while we were walking but chickened out!
During the drive back to my truck he said he felt like he was back in high school and thanked me for making him feel that way.
As fun as it was, the moment came when I had to leave and I wondered if he was going to move in for the kiss. It felt slightly awkward because I knew he wanted to but he was hesitant. There's only so much awkwardness I can put up with so I leaned over, gave him a kiss and said goodnight.
The next morning he sent me a message thanking me for a great night and laughing at himself for not kissing me first.
Such is dating. Feel fear but do it anyway, that's my motto! He promises to reclaim his man card and beat me to the kiss next time.

It's never a dull moment online. Sometimes it's just fun to pause and enjoy the craziness! Here is a sampling of random email messages...and more!

Who would he be hurting? I don't get that...at all.

Huh?? What is he talking about? Anybody?
I responded to this guy, with a question, just to see if perhaps this was a Nigerian scam artist with a fake profile. The reply I got back seemed normal and unlike the first email. He had 5 kids full time so maybe he had simply lost his mind or was smashed when he wrote the first email. Or both.
Moving right along....

David sounds hostile and has no photo. Think I'll give him a miss!

How about this guy, this was his profile write up, insert cave man accent! He has a very specific height requirement...I wonder why!

For those who aren't familiar with the format of profiles on Match, the user signs up with a username and then creates a "headline". This headline is the first thing usually read when browsing through the site, designed to attract, or at least I thought! And now, a few of my favourites posted by the guys. Sometimes they're like a bad pick up line.

"I Love Clean Ladies"

"I'm up all night, can you help me get down."

"Looking to heal a sex starved heart"

"Guido with a high libido"

And the best so far:

"Shivery is not dead."

I think I felt a bit shivery reading that actually! Time for that fellow to get out the dictionary!

It's important to keep all of this in perspective and have fun with it. I compare it to going to my favourite pub. The regulars, the crazies and the decent, normal people are all going to show up. You might meet that one person who will rock your world, but some nights the pub is just a fun place to people watch.

Cheers!

The last time I went out with a guy who lived across the border, I had a three hour hell date I still laugh about. That story is for another day, but the experience did make me somewhat gun shy about dating Americans. The border is about a ten minute drive away and I go down to the USA a lot. The logistics of a cross border relationship are a bit complicated. In reality though, many things are complicated, so I'm willing to remain open about it. On Match, you have to select a distance radius, not a country, for the people you get matched with. Because I live close to the border, I often get messages from American men, which I usually ignore.
When I got the email from yet another guy in Bellingham, my first reaction was "oh great what does this guy want". Which was then followed by "oh wait, hang on a minute I take that back". Good start.
This is what I read about him:

So that's interesting. A widower. Can't say I've dated one before. The last relationship I was in, which didn't make it to the one year mark, ended because he was dragging his heals with his divorce. Clearly this is not going to be the issue here. I wonder if he's really ready to be dating again? Only one way to find out!

This is how he introduced himself...proof that the best pick up lines are most often the simple ones!

Okay that was easy, right? So I responded:

What followed was a pretty decent email exchange where I learned he was with the LAPD for a few years back in the late 90's. He now works as a recruiter for a company that discovers and manufactures cancer medicine and seems to love it. He has no office and can work from anywhere, but chose the Pacific Northwest as his home 5 years ago.
After a google search I agreed to meet him for coffee on my next cross border shopping run. I love Trader Joes and I was really craving their lentils.
He picked the spot after offering to meet me anywhere I felt comfortable.

And he's decisive. I like that.
If things didn't go well, I'd run back across the border with my cheap gas and stockpile of lentils, and the day would still be considered a success.

For those who haven't been to the Woods coffee shop in Boulevard Park (I didn't even know it existed), I recommend it. The park is right on the water, with beautiful views. You wouldn't know there was a coffee place there because it's quite hidden. I was early so I took a look around and I would definitely go back.
My first impression of Kevin was that he was tall and attractive in a boyish kind of way (as much as a 48 year old can look boyish). He was a little nervous because I was his first date from an online match. Clearly the man has exceptional taste ;)
He seemed to relax pretty quickly, the Canadian chocolates I had brought down for him helped. I liked the fact that he asked about my kids and talked about his daughter, but didn't bring up his late wife. He told me he is in the process of buying a house near Lake Whatcom, one of my favourite summer holiday spots.
Over all I thought the date went well and so after I left we discussed a second date.

He has offered to come up to my turf and take me for dinner, which I thought was a good sign. Perhaps if nothing else, he can redeem my experience of dating Americans! (I really will tell the other story some time).
I'll keep you posted, in the meantime, I have some lentils to warm up and a sushi date to plan with Denver. :)

Yes please! Oh, wait, that wasn’t a question was it.
It's hard to talk about dating without talking about sex! Let's got there now, shall we?!

Sex. Of course. But when?!

The Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger says “No sex before monogamy”. I’m inclined to agree with her when it comes to dating. I would argue that most men will take it as early as the first date if it’s presented. (Can’t blame them really). I don’t know many men who would say “Oh, no, I think we should wait until we get to know each other better”. If your goal is a long term relationship, I think it’s best to hold off as long as possible (sorry guys). Hey we’re all adults here right, what's wrong with a little action? Well nothing really but it's risky. (In more ways than one!) Yes, it's a double standard but get over it. Men don't like thinking they are with a woman who puts out easily. They don't assess their own actions quite so critically. Shag on the first date and he thinks you always do that. Next thing you know, some guy with great potential who seemed really into you is dust in the wind. If you’re into him, wait. If he’s into you, he’ll (reluctantly) suffer through a probationary period!

The best advice I can give to avoid this, is…
Don’t go to his house for dinner.
Yes, that’s it. Simply put.
I’m a sucker for a guy who can cook. A confident guy in the kitchen is almost as sexy as a confident guy in the bedroom. It’s great he wants to make you a nice meal and show you his place but BE WARNED: nakedness will result. Think about it. A little wine, a little mood music, a tasty meal, no one else there, no other distractions and BAM…or should I say WHAM BAM…you’re checking the thread count of his sheets. Remember this: walking in the front door of his place = nakedness. Now you can't act surprised! "OMG I don't know what happened my clothes just fell off without any warning"!

Last time I was on Match, I went on three dates with a guy named Martin. He was a successful business man from South Surrey, attractive by anyone’s standards and by all accounts a “good catch”. He had a deep sexy DJ voice when we chatted on the phone. Our first date was a walk (with his dog) and I left hoping he would ask me out again. The next date was dinner, at a decent restaurant, where we got to know each other better. He was good company. He kissed me.
Then, the next time I heard from him, he had been playing golf all day in the sun with his buddies. No doubt beers were consumed. He sent me a text asking if I wanted to watch the hockey game at his house. I translated this to actually mean the following:
“Do you want to come to my house under the guise of watching the hockey game and get naked, because I’ve been drinking and I’m horny”.
I said no.
Then he apologized and said he knew it wasn’t really appropriate on the third date. (Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?) I did agree to meet him for a drink (in public) where it quickly became apparent to me there wouldn’t be a fourth date. He poo-pooed my Malbec and said he only drank wines from Napa. He was a germophobe. He had lied about his age. He was bony. (I can’t get the engines fired up if I can feel the guy’s ribs). He seemed to have a foot fetish because he kept asking to see my feet (out of shoes!)(in public!). At the end of the evening he tried again to get me to his place. Really Martin?? And they say romance is a thing of the past!! My sexy feet and I turned him down. I didn’t hear from him after that and I was actually quite relieved.

I need to digress here for a moment and talk about foot fetishes. Do not put photos of yourself with bare feet in your online profile unless you are prepared for some weird emails. I don't know what it is, but guys with foot fetishes abound online. I wish I was kidding! They can spot nice feet a mile away and it can get creepy.

Anyway, back to Martin.

Two months later, he sent me a message, asking if he could take me out again because he felt that he had missed a good chance. (I wasn’t flattered, he’d probably just finished another golf game.)

Martin wouldn’t have been worth a romp in the hay anyway, but I avoided a lot of problems by not accepting an invitation to his house.

Sex isn’t hard to find, sex with the right person is! I would add to Patti’s statement by suggesting, “No sex before monogamy and no sex before shutting down internet dating profiles”. Good to make sure he isn’t still shopping and is ready to proceed to the check out with you in his cart!

Go forth and date…and hold the home cookin’ until you have found the right cook!

So this is what a good intro email looks like...he obviously looked past my pictures and read my profile. Big points for that!

Denver is an American with a 100 lb German shepherd and a work visa. He works as an IT manager and yes, I googled him! The fact that he has a work visa means Canadian Border Services pre-screened him, that's a bonus! He has a nice friendly face and seems like an interesting guy so we made a date.
We decided on a trail walk with his dog in Fort Langley. Walking is a good first date activity because men open up more talking shoulder to shoulder. I didn't make this up, it's a proven fact! A lot of good conversations can also be had while driving.
He asked me in advance how I like my Starbucks and said he'd bring me an umbrella for the rain.
He arrived on time and brought me a coffee. We ended up walking for almost three hours in the rain and didn't run short on conversation. He mentioned previous dates he'd been on, the last woman he met on Match lasted 7 dates. From how he described it, he got "friend-zoned". I'm not sure he really lit my fire but he asked if I'd like to go for sushi sometime and I said yes. One more date and I'll know.

When I was driving home I realized that he hasn't asked about my kids or exactly what I did at work, or even about my family. Maybe he didn't want to ask too much at once, maybe it didn't occur to him.
He certainly ended on a nice note!

They can't all be crazy, funny stories...sometimes normal is a refreshing change!

Earlier I wrote about why it's important to do a bit of research on Google before going out on a blind date. Today a friend reminded me of one of my own stories and I thought I would share it to help demonstrate this point!

I work out at a local gym and have gone there consistently for about 6 years.
It hasn't been a great source of dates, but that's probably just as well. Using the gym as a fishing hole is a bit like using work as a fishing hole, it gets tricky to avoid people if things don't work out.

Darrell suddenly appeared at the gym in the fall and his workouts often coincided with mine. After a while, he became familiar even though I hadn't talked to him. He was a little rough around the edges but dressed appropriately and seemed quiet. He was cute in a rugged kind of way and had nice eyes. He had some tattoos.
(I don't mind tattoos at all, as long as they are tasteful and aren't on the neck or knuckles!)
We started to chat a bit here and there. One day he commented that I seemed like a really nice person and had beautiful eyes. Then he asked me out for coffee.
I was impressed with his courage, not a lot of guys have had the guts to ask me that question out of the blue. He seemed nice, so I thought, why not?
He happened to live in an area which I am very familiar with and I was a little puzzled because there are mostly larger homes there, which seemed a bit outside his income bracket. Maybe he was renting a suite? He talked about his work in the film industry and how he was starting a new endeavour doing maintenance on wind turbines up in the Whistler area. Seems ok right!?

In the process of getting his phone number, I also got his last name. Then...I "did the google".
This is the first thing that came up...

Ummm yeah. So he was sentenced to three years in jail.
The house where he was living was no doubt a halfway house. I know there are a few dotted about, hidden amongst the large family estates. He probably got the "special" government rate at the gym.

Oh.My.God.

I bailed from the date, telling him I had reconsidered because I was in the middle of a nasty divorce. If I get struck by lightning for that particular lie, I'm ok with that! I had never given him my last name, told him what I did for work or told him I had kids. I always find initially it's better to get more info than you give!
He told me that he had been through some tough times too and was a good listener, that he was there for me if I needed an ear.
What I needed was a beer, not an ear, after that near disaster!
He left for the Whistler area and by the time he re-emerged, he had a girlfriend. They wore matching toques to the gym for a long time and looked pretty happy, now he's no longer there.
Maybe he's back in the big house! Hopefully he's not back on Match!

ALWAYS "DO THE GOOGLE", LADIES!!!

Another fireman?!? He worked in the same city as the first one. What's going on there? Match.com group discount? This one was 45, a recently promoted Captain, lived relatively close and had two teenage sons. Seems like he had a great sense of humour, as demonstrated by his reply to my question about being "heavy set".

So we made a date to meet at a pub after I finished work one evening. I picked a spot not too far from where he lived because I don't really like going to my locals in case I run into people I know! He was there first and I knew right away there wouldn't be chemistry. He reminded me immediately of pro wrestler Gene Kininski. He looked older and rougher than 45.

I sat down. He was finishing a beer. We talked and he seemed to be drinking rather quickly. The conversation didn't flow well, which surprised me because there was good banter via email. It was loud in the pub and the game was on. I didn't feel like prolonging it by eating anything. I had one beer followed by a club soda. He had three pints and I asked how he was planning on getting home. "I should probably take a cab eh, I got a 24hr roadside suspension once."

Wait, what??

Then, he started peppering me with questions about our second date. "So you going out with me again?" "We should go for a walk."
"The last girl lost my phone number."

Hmmm I wonder why.

Then he had a fourth beer (I'm not actually sure how many he'd had before I got there!) "Yeah I should take a cab eh?"

Me: "yeah that would be a good idea. It's hard to get to work if your vehicle is impounded"

We left the pub less than two hours after we got there. I can't believe I lasted that long, thank god for the Canucks game!
We were both parked right near the entrance. So was a taxi with it's light on, ready and waiting to drive responsible bar patrons home. I said goodbye and after a brief discussion about the cab, I got in my truck and left.

I went two blocks down the road, then on a hunch turned around and drove back to the pub.

Guess what??

Yes, that's right, his truck was gone. The taxi was still sitting there, looking lonely and empty.

Driving wasn't a smart choice no matter what his alcohol tolerance was. He knew better. Why take the risk? I wouldn't have gone out with him again anyway but he didn't know that!

The two drink rule on dates is a good one. Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker, swears by it. Keeps people from being stupid and making bad decisions. Now I can see why.

I can’t say I have ever met a real cowboy…let alone one who wants to buy me a drinkl. Brett didn’t look 52, more like 58. I could tell he wasn’t going to be “the one” but, I was getting back on the dating horse and figured a cowboy might be able to help! Sometimes curiosity gets the better of me…
We met after I finished work one night at an Earl’s in Burnaby. It’s a great location for a blind date and if things aren’t going well, there are lots of distractions. If the guy you are with spends the whole date avoiding looking at the hot waitresses then he gets bonus points.
I didn’t see Brett at first as he was in a booth at the back. When I walked in, he was partially hidden by a group of four business men watching the hockey game. I approached the table slowly to check and see if it was him before he saw me. As I was coming into his view he was quickly finishing up a beer. Liquid courage is understandable, even for a cowboy.

Brett was a complete gentleman, I’ll give him that. He kept me entertained with his life story; he had been a bounty hunter, poker player, and a cowboy on the rodeo circuit. He had grown up in Vancouver. He told me he had been shot at 9 times. He had been to Vegas 192 times, flown down on Caesar’s Palace’s private jet. He had belt buckles (the trophy of the competitive cowboy) to prove his abilities in the penning ring. He had 2 ex-wives. He had a daughter who had gone for lap-band surgery in Belgium and another who had dated a cocaine snorting Canuck. He was comfortably retired and living in North Vancouver and went to a movie every day. All of this information was delivered in a completely plausible fashion (if you can imagine it) and I actually quite enjoyed listening to him, much like someone would enjoy a good Carl Hiassen novel. Better than a night at home in front of the tv I figured.

He told me he had never touched a drop of alcohol in his life. I thought that was a strange thing to say, given that he was downing a beer when I arrived. I knew there wouldn’t be a second date anyway, so really, challenging him on that didn’t seem worth it.

A dynamite roll and a glass of wine later, I left him in the parking lot. He suggested a second date and said he would leave it to me to be in touch if I was so inclined, which I wasn’t. Not a bad date really, all things considered, bull shit or not. Sorry cowboy, time for the next rodeo.

Online dating websites can be intimidating and frankly, scary. The idea of men sitting at home in their underwear looking at your pictures and personal info is concerning to many.

Once you get over that and realize you too can sit there searching for love in your underwear, it starts to become fun. How many bars let you do that!?!

When you actually get to the stage of arranging a date, I have some tips. I have learned from experience so feel my pain and trust me on these!

1. Do the Google

No I don't mean some weird pre-date dance ritual, I mean Google him. Even if it's awkward, ask his last name. See if he's on Facebook and if he has any friends. See if he made the 6:00 news. Check Linked-In and anywhere else to find out what you are getting yourself into! One guy I was chatting with had a friend in common with me on Facebook. That friend was my brother's girlfriend who knew the guy from a past job. A quick check with her revealed he was the most self involved douche bag she knew and not only did I not go out with him, she took him off his friends list.

2. Don't commit to dinner

The very first date I went on from an online match was a complete disaster. This blog isn't long enough. The short version is that I agreed to dinner and had to sit listening to him talk about himself for 3.5 hrs while he had his arm resting in a patio planter. He talked like a rapper even though he was a white bread as they come. I wanted to chew my own arm off to get free.

3. Tell someone where you're going and have an out.

My friends drove past that horrifying first dinner date in their minivan wih the door open. If I'd seen them I would have pulled a James Bond and made a go of it. After that night the owner of the restaurant said to tell him next time and he would stage an emergency phone call! See now that's good customer service!

4. Avoid giving him your cel number

This one is tricky. If you can arrange a date without giving out your number, I recommend it. It seems that giving out your phone number translates into..."text me to chat". I don't want to chat before I meet you. I certainly don't want bare chested selfie shots in your parents bathroom. Worse: a dick pic (I wish i was kidding). This actually happened and I cancelled the date. On the other hand, thank god he did that so I didn't have to waste my time!

5. Cut to the chase

I realize some people need to warm up. Personally I like a few back and forth emails and then to meet in person. If I wanted a pen pal I would write to my long lost crush in Connecticut. Ok I don't have a long lost crush in Conneticut but you get the picture.
Some guys seem unable to "close the deal". This to me is an indicator that they are incapable of closing any kind of deal whatsoever, are juggling too many things at once or are stalling until their wife leaves town.

The best rule of all:

6.. Trust your gut

This is true for dating and life in general. If the guy seems a bit off...just cancel.

This was the message to the guy living with his parents, once I realized my suspicions were correct:

Online dating wouldn't be complete without a few (ok a lot) of weirdos and scammers. This is why many women are afraid to sign up. I agree it can be annoying but they can also be entertaining and hey...good fodder for my blog! Here is a sampling of my favourites so far!

This young suitor described himself as 32 in his profile. He is a REAL guy living in a REAL world...phew. Normally I wouldn't bother to respond but I couldn't resist...call me a heartbreaker.

I kept it short and sweet...go find another cougar/victim/sucker. But wait...he's not done yet!

OMG! A millionaire?!? Well in that case, lets meet in a dark alley somewhere, you must be awesome! Oh and bring your wallet.

Next is a message from the king of smooth talkers. A one line message designed to capture my interest and reel me in. So compelling in fact that I can't believe I didn't respond!

Then, there are the true scammers. This guy was no doubt sitting at an Internet cafe in Nigeria. I have had different versions of this but usually the emails are full of spelling errors and flowery speech. Often, he is a widower with a young (***insert name of son or daughter here***) child. Sometimes the name at the end of the message doesn't match the name in the profile. Usually the profiles are long distance and easy to spot. Another clue is that they want to divert you to a yahoo account to chat.

If someone can actually translate this for me it would be astonishing. He is absolutely right on one thing though..I will need to know little about Richard Brad!

Something definitely got lost in translation there!

This guy was my age, had three teenage kids and lived near the beach in Whiterock. Nice eyes. A fireman = steady income, lots of time off, good pension: similar to my situation. So far so good! Some interests in common, seems easy going, sign me up!
After a few messages back and forth, within 2 days of signing up on Match...BAM!! A DATE!!

Having learned the hard way, I agreed that the first meet up should be for a quick coffee in the afternoon at Starbucks. Starbucks is probably the number one spot to go on a blind date or to go and watch awkward people on their first blind date.

Now I realize this is a daytime coffee and casual is ok, but my motto is always "best foot forward". This means, make the effort to look half decent. I know ultimately that if you meet the right person it wouldn't matter if you were wearing a potato sack but still.
Mark was wearing his jogging clothes. This included a ratty old Canucks t-shirt (ok I love the Canucks so I can forgive this one perhaps). An old pair of poorly fitting shorts and what looked like the shoes he cuts the grass in. Hmmm.

We went up to order out coffees and he announced he would get mine. (Gee thanks Romeo). He proceeded to pull out his Velcro wallet which looked exactly the same as my 10 yr olds. I think I might have seen a moth fly out.
We had a decent chat, had enough in common, both being emergency responders, to be able to find common ground. He is an avid paddleboarder and invited me to join him across the way to go look at paddleboards when he found out that I wanted to buy one.
Then he insulted my truck. "I didn't say I liked it, I said it was interesting" was his comment.
He proceeded to get in his minivan after a bit of a discussion about dating and what pace we were comfortable with. I never heard from him again and now his profile is gone.
He just seemed dull, no spark, and like he'd already convinced himself it wasn't going to work before he even got dressed.

Moving right along then!

So here I am, surfing around on Match.com and looking at the hundreds of guys available near me...suddenly I feel like moving. I'm cringing at the photos. They obviously need some help in this area and I just happen to have some suggestions:

1. The SUPER HOT bathroom mirror selfie

I don't care how nice your abs are or what fancy bathroom fixtures you have please please please stop. I don't want to see you admiring yourself. Put your shirt back on! Bare chests are for the beach!

2. Beware the background

Guys seem to forget that behind every picture is another story. Whatever background is behind him could potentially cause you to run screaming in the other direction. Stacked up boxes and clutter = hoarding. Guns on display = serial killer. 1960's wood panelling = parents basement.

3. Sun glasses

I'm an eye person. If I can't see them I can't really see the man. My advice to men: uncover your eyes unless you are Stevie Wonder or a pirate.

4. Smile

This is simple, right? You'd think.

5. Include a full body shot

I recently asked a guy about his "size" because he described himself as "heavy set". That was the first time I had ever seen that description used as even the 350 pounders describe themselves as "about average" or "a few extra pounds". He was a firefighter and this was how I worded it:

I kind of like men with some meat on their bones, but I need to know what I'm getting myself into (or out of).
To his credit he was good natured about it and thought I was hilarious. The date didn't go so well but more about that later!

6. Booze

He likes to have a few drinks and a good time, hey so do I.. But, if in every picture he is holding a drink.I interpret that as a sign that drinking is his hobby. Next!!

7. Group photos

"wait...which one is he. Oh, he's cute...oh wait that's his friend. Never mind...next."

8. Animals

A guy with a dog? Sure! Men who have pets demonstrate their ability to care for something other than themselves. A man with a dog get bonus points in my book. But...pictures of your teacup chihuahua wih a pink bow? Your cat using the toilet? Pictures of just your pets? Please reconsider.

Note to you girls: I have heard from several men (my brother included) who also surf the online dating sites, that if they see one more photo of a woman cuddling her dog they are going to snap.

Why? You ask. Well, because apparently it looks obsessive...and a little sad. Perhaps interpreted as one step away from crazy cat lady status. One nice photo of you having fun with your pet is probably enough or just leave it out altogether.

Best advice for an online dating profile:

Keep it simple and put in lots of pics!! Being visual creatures, men will look at pics first and ask questions later!

Here is mine:

I am a fun, honest, loyal and outgoing person. I am looking for a relationship, but realize this starts with a connection. The "dating" part of a new relationship is fun and I am not in a big rush. I am at a good place in my life, any past relationship troubles have all been resolved.
I like to laugh and try new things. I am an optimist by nature and have been told I am easy to talk to. I cry during movies, smile at dogs and love a good steak. I like "girly" things although I am not a big shopper and am not overly obsessed with looking "perfect". I work with a lot of men, so I can talk hockey and drink beer in the right setting too! I grew up in Vancouver and am most happy by the ocean.

I am looking for someone who is clear of past relationships and who is open to love. Honesty and a sense of fun are a good foundation. I don't have a physical "type" but am first drawn to a man's eyes, so pictures are great but better without sunglasses! It's important to me that the man I am with is financially responsible. I am not a materialistic person but at this stage in life, financial stability is important.

There is much more to say, but I will save that for the person who is intrigued and wants to learn more. Is that you?

Just a 40 something Vancouver girl looking for love in the 'burbs...except I'm a Mum...and carry a badge...and I'm blogging it.

Join me as I run the gauntlet of online dating profiles and try to find my match!